i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Will exercising make me less horny?
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
