Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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