Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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