i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
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