so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
