I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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