I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Who died my cat blue again?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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