There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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