Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
