So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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