everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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