dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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