I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
