I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Randomize
