she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
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