You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
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The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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