I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Randomize
