Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
