This girl is more easily done than said...
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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