I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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