I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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