Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
