the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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