I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
