Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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