I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
im holly from the hills drunk
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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