Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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