I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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