i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
