y did u give ur computer a hand job?
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
