he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
