well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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