Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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