OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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