Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
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