explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
