Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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