Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
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She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
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She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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