Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
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