i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I faked an abortion last night.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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