I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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