im six kinds of drunk right now
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
