hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
