Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
