nutella sex= disaster
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
