Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
