Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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