Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
