Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
