Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
