I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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