white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
