I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
