KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
