I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize