oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
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