Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize