Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
