I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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