She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
