She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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