Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
