HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Randomize
