hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
